


Sightseeing in Washington can get you to the FBI

by amlago



Category: Criminal Minds, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Bickering, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 21:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amlago/pseuds/amlago
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The FBI has two suspect, or at least potential witnesses. If they just could get them to stop bickering and answering questions about the bomb.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sightseeing in Washington can get you to the FBI

"What can you tell me about the suspects?"

"Well, first of all we're not sure that they are suspects or not. When they were found they had just defused the bomb, so either they are accomplices that had second thought or they were just at the right place at the right time. And somehow happened to know how to defuse the bomb."

"So what's the problem? They refuse to talk?"

"Talking is not the problem. One of them hasn’t shut up since we put them in interrogation, the other hasn’t really said all that much he just sits there and edges the other one on."

Aaron gives Derek a disbelieving look.

"You put them in the same room?"

"Ok, I know that's not the standard procedure, but it seemed like a good idea. The police had them in separate rooms and the one sitting didn’t say one word while the other complained about," Derek looks at a paper in his hand. "The chair, the smell of the room and the lack of coffee. For the entirely hour and a half they had them."

"Very well, put it on the screen."

The monitor comes to life and shoves two men, one slouching in a chair while the other one walks around waiving his hands around and talking. The sound is of but the agents can see that he's agitated. At first glance the one sitting looks relaxed but the agents can see the tensions in him and the way he's put the chair so it's between the door and the other man. The rant seems to be winding down until the seated one says something that gets the other one going again.

"That’s Doctor Rodney McKay," Spencer blurts out. "He’s one of the smartest men alive if not the smartest, he's got three PhD and then a couple of years ago he disappeared into some government operation. Nobody knows what he does now, put the few papers he published after he disappeared has been years ahead of science as we know it. He’s brilliant, arrogant, and rude and at one debate he was on he made his opponent cry."

"Wait, so he really is as smart as he says he is?"

"Reid, Derek I want you two to do the questioning. But before that can you tell us anything else about them?"

"His companion has military training, don't know what kind. Is most likely suffering from some form of PTSD, he automatically put the chair so he would be between Dr. McKay and the door. Meanwhile McKay is always keeping himself in his view; he went one turn around the whole room and then started keeping himself in the others sight. I don't know if he's even doing it intentionally or not. But they both have seen action. We’re running their prints now, but at least we know who one of them is from wonder boy."

"Ok, go in there and see what you can get. It’s unlikely that they have anything to do with the bomb, but they might have some information seeing that they were there."

"Let’s go pretty boy and see what they have to say," Derek opens the door for Spencer and follows him in.

Rodney turns around and glares at them while John slouches down even more in his chair. Before Derek can even start introducing himself and Spencer Rodney waves his hand at the younger profiler.

"I recognize you! You were on that con a couple of years ago, with that blond. What was her name? Penny or something like that."

"Penelope, her name is Penelope."

"Whatever," Rodney waves dismissively. "What I do remember is that you proved not to be a complete idiot. Well, not an idiot then, apparently I was wrong. Something that doesn’t happens often."

Derek feels a surge of anger for his friend. Spencer is the smartest person he's ever met, and this arrogant jerk just called him an idiot, or rather said he wasn't an idiot but didn't seemed impressed. He glances over at the younger man and is surprised to see him looking pleased, almost as he had expected the insult. Perhaps there was more to it then he knew.

"Wait, Rodney what are you talking about, what con?"

"You know, the one I went to I don't know two three years ago. I asked if you wanted to come but you had that thing."

"What thing?"

"You know, the thing," Rodney makes some kind of gesture.

"Ah, that thing. I remember. But, Rodney don't tell me you went alone to the con." John suddenly turns serious.

"What? No, of course not. Miko came because there was this Ghibli marathon she wanted to see."

"Miko, that's the one you took with you? Unless she has some secret martial art training i don't know about you want to tell me you went to an unknown place without any protection."

"I had my transmitter, emergency beacon and I know for sure i saw at least one marine lurking around. Besides it was a scifi con, not some enemy territory. You can't be angry it was years ago!"

"Rodney!"

"Fine, fine! I’m sorry! The next time I go to a con I will take one of your marines with me, happy?"

"They are not my marines," but he relaxes again. "Can you at least explain why you didn’t take a marine with you?"

"It’s very simple, they didn’t pass the quiz I gave them. If they don’t even know the basic about the shows they don’t get to come." Rodney dismisses the subject and turns to the two agents. "Oh, that reminds me. Your Penny or what her name was, she worked with you right. That means that she can see us. She didn't believe me when I said I had a hot air force with ridiculous hair," he grabs Johns arm and gives him a shake. "See, I told you."

John just smirks at the two agents, not at all bothered.

"You think I’m hot, Rodney I’m touched."

"What? Of course you're hot, you're ridiculous hot, and I’m just worried that your hair is lowering your IQ."

Derek decides to try and take control over the situation before it goes any more out of control.

"What can you tell me about the bomb?"

"The bomb? The bomb was a disgrace to all bombs, I could build better bombs than that when I was ten. I mean if you build a bomb you should at least try, monkeys can do better bombs than that, even Kavanagh can do a better bomb. I think, I might give him too much credit. The grunts can do better bombs, that I know for a fact. What?" he glares at John when the other pokes him with his elbow.

"Why don't you let me answer the questions for a while?"

Rodney huffs but crosses his arms and goes silent. Derek feels relived about the quiet until he realizes that John most likely has training about what to say and not to say in interrogations.

"So, tell me about how you found the bomb."

Rodney opens his mouth but closes it again when his companion gives him a look. Instead he gets a pensive look and starts drumming his fingers on the table.

"Well, I can give you my statement. But it won't be any different from the one I gave the police. We just happened to be at the right place at the right time. We didn't see anybody suspicious."

"You just happened to notice the bomb?"

"What can I say. It’s not the first bomb we encountered. It wasn't even a very complex bomb, Rodney could have defused it in his sleep."

"And what are you doing here in Washington?"

"Sightseeing and some shopping."

"Nothing else?"

"What, do mean like planting bombs and then change our minds about it?" Rodney snaps

"Rodney, be nice."

"Why? It’s not like they seems grateful that we stopped a bombing. Instead they shut us in a small room without any food or water and ask us stupid questions."

"Would you like some coffee?" spencer suddenly asks and Rodney deflates some.

"Yes, uhm, thank you."

"No need, it's not very good coffee."

"Ha! It can't be worse than the coffee in the lab at night. I’m pretty sure zelenka does experiment on it sometimes and then gives it to the marines when they piss him of. What?! He does! We have a pool going on when they notice. I’m hoping to win some athodian beer."

"Rodney!"

Rodney huffs and goes quiet again just mumbles something when Spencer gives him a cup. He quickly drinks it and Derek thinks that they finally can get back on track. He’s disappointed but not surprised when McKay suddenly turns towards the other.

"You know who I’m blaming for this? I’m blaming you for this," Rodney points at John. "You know O’Neall is going to do that thing he does. I hate it when he does that."

"What thing?" Derek narrows his eyes because he can tell that Sheppard knows exactly what he means.

"The thing! You know the thing he does when.... oh haha I hate you so much. If it wasn't for you and your stupid hero complex I could be doing stuff, important stuff. But instead we're here."

"It was you who disarmed the bomb."

"Yes, yes it was. But I was only doing it because I knew you wouldn’t leave and probably would blow yourself up if you had tried it."

John looks at him before giving him a smirk.

"My hero."

"You have stupid hair!"

Both Derek and spencer gives Rodney confused looks but john just laugh and nudge the sputtering scientist. Rodney’s eyes suddenly widen and he points accusingly at Derek.

"You are the hot chocolate stud muffin!"

The room goes quiet, spencer blushes when he remembers Penelope describing Derek that way. Derek just blinks, not sure of anything and John starts laughing so hard he almost falls out of his chair. Rodney glowers at everyone and drinks his coffee.

Luckily, before the so called interrogation can get any more bizarre, the door opens and Aaron shows a grey haired man in. The man takes in the room and gives everyone an unimpressed look.

"McKay, Sheppard, care to explain why I have to interrupt an important meeting to get you two out from the FBI?"

"This is all your fault!" Rodney is instantly on his feet and it's only johns hand on his arm that stops him from being in O’Neill’s face.

"My fault? How is this my fault?"

"You told Sheppard that we should sightsee before doing the shopping. If it wasn't for his inability to find his way around we would never have stumble upon the bomb!"

"Hey! I can find my way around just fine," John protest.

"Oh, please. You have the navigations skill as a drunken bumblebee. I’m surprised you don't get lost on your way to the bathroom."

"Children, less bickering and more getting the hell out of here."

Much to Derek surprise that works and the two settlers down.

"Good," O’Neall claps his hands. "Now that that’s out of the way, when are you done with them? I have meetings to go back to and they have sightseeing to do."

"We’re almost done here,” Aaron says. "There is just the question why they have a list written in code with them."

"What? Let me see," O’Neall grabs the paper and squints at it. "McKay, explain."

"What? It’s just the shopping list," he defends himself.

"And it's written in what?"

"Satedian or whatever Ronon calls it. What?! It’s harder to write than Athosian so I need to practice."

John grabs the list and looks at it.

"You missed a squiggle there," he points. "At least I think you missed it, since you’re not going to try and find some blue pig like creature to buy."

"I thought the squiggle was used to make it mean almost pig."

"Naw, it's the other way around, with it you get knife, without pig creature."

"Fine," Rodney takes out a pen. "Wait, is it meant to squiggle or squaggle?"

"squaggle."

"Are you saying that because you know that or because you like the word squaggle?"

"Both.  Now draw a squaggle."

Rodney huffs but does as he's told.

"Enough. What we will do now is go out of this room and towards the nice marines that has agreed to go sightseeing with you, and shopping. Ah! Not a word McKay, you two are making me miss having meeting something that I didn't think was possible. Now, go!"

O’Neall makes shooing motions and John and Rodney hurries out of the room. "Good, that wasn't so hard wasn't it? Now let's see if we can keep it up until were out of the building."

"Wait, Rodney stay here for a moment while I talk to the marines," John doesn't wait for an answer but goes towards the five marines.

"I’m not a dog!" Rodney shouts after him but stays put.

"Dr. McKay," Derek gives Spencer a disbelieving look.

"What?" Rodney snaps.

"I wouldn’t have guessed that John was your type. I thought that smart blonds were more your thing. What’s so special about him?"

Rodney gives Spencer a suspicious look and glances at O’Neall, who looks as he's ignoring everything.

"Well, it's not the hair or stupid hero complex he's got going on, that’s for sure. But he's proven not to be a complete moron, understands the importance of coffee in the morning and he knows some math. Oh, god, what's he's doing!? Sheppard! It was years ago, you can't be angry at the grunts for something that happened years ago!"

Rodney hurries over and gives John a shove; John just gives him a disgruntled look but let’s himself gets moved towards the elevator. The marines don’t seem to think that this behavior is strange and just follows them.

"You know, Sheppard turned down Mensa. Personally I think that’s what McKay finds interesting about Sheppard, since he can’t understand why anybody would do that. McKay might come across like an arrogant jerk, well, he is one, but he can’t leave something he can’t understand alone." Jack tells the three agents before going to the elevator himself.

The last thing the three agents here is McKay insulting the marines, every moron that’s ever been born and elevator music.


End file.
